Fluttering movement

The sun coming in my window

Now this morning, it’s truly beautiful. It’s been so hot that it stinks outside like things rotting. I can hardly sit out here for the heat and humidity. I’ve had the fan going for a week or so, and sat here anyway…sweating. But in the mornings it’s still lovely and today the sun has been slowly rising, climbing the rectangle of my window, casting her lovely shadows. I take pictures and feel better. Like I feel better as soon as I walk out the door.

I wrote a whole thing last night on expectations – the expectations I feel are made of me in certain relationships – all of them of the type that I’m supposed to accept things no one else in their right mind would accept…because I’m a mother, daughter, sister, or wife. It’s one of those things when you look at it that is so ridiculous that you want to either laugh or cry – or both really.

Yet there’s some movement. Yes, there’s movement going on and I’m grateful for it. Awareness brings movement. I don’t know where it’s taking me but I feel a sense of being guided in how to be with it, to move with it, to find my contentment with what I have and to be grateful. And to accept some changes too, damn it!

The shadows are alive with movement. All is a flutter.