Shock Waves

It’s 5:46 and the sun’s topping the fence. As I walked out the cabin was glowing red, and I had to look back and see – is there something special making her glow “red?” But it was / is an ordinary looking sun, blinding if I look into it, beautiful shadows getting created against the back cabin wall. I’ve already thought of Tone and Storker (my Oslo visitors coming next month) and what special sweet thing I might do for them -- like leaving a welcoming gift in their rooms.

It would be truly frightening (I think) how well someone would have to take care of me, and then I think, “my God, how well I was taken care of in Colorado!” Did I create that (in that weird way that I’m wondering if I created “a life where work and life are one”)? Did I set the conditions for it with who I am now? Have my desires go out and meet the desires to host so generously that I found?

Man, I’m stuck on this creating business. If there was a “theme,” represented in a dozen different synchronistic ways, that was it. I’d guess I’m just so full of everything I’ve experienced that I can’t quite get to my quiet space. (So maybe it’s not meant to be just yet?) I’ve got one thing just behind me and another coming up and they’re good, out-of-the-ordinary things. It’s not so bad that I’m thinking of Tone and Storker in my early morning hours. Or of creation. Why is it that I want to quit and get back to “normal?” A norm I think of as “free” mind if not quiet mind. I feel a bit as if my mind’s been taken over by all the ideas that have touched on mine from the people I’ve met. They’ve influenced me. I’m excited with these embodied ideas. I went somewhere new and everyone I met informed me in some way. I’m still full with it.

There were these artists “living the life” (the artistic life), in community, in the mountains…with spirit! Meeting them and seeing them interact with one another in their own environment, a place they’re used to, comfortable with, it was like getting a view into another way of life. And not just a view – an experience of it. I was invited “in.” It was a simple gathering, hosted impeccably, and yet without the feel of formality for not being so different than the way they gather weekly. My hosts and I were the strangers invited into their midst. I love that whole feeling. It was the general feeling of the weekend. I was invited into the midst of something already happening and became a part of it. What a wonder. I was let “in.” And being “let in” I was touched. And here I sit with that part of me that was touched still reverberating. It’s like shock waves being sent out into my own little environment in a somewhat gentle way – coming home to roost in my space, being “let in” here, where I’ll sit with them.

It’s hard to imagine that anything I gave might be having the same sort of effect, but what if it is? What if, a part of me has remained there, setting off similar shock waves? I am amazed still, awash with the feeling of these possibilities…of what can happen when people join together in a real way.